Happy Angel Day Ruby!

Today marks 4 years since our daughter passed away.

Four years ago I had no idea where our lives would take us and how we could live our lives without her.

All I can say is we are doing it.

We continue to move forward.

I don’t think it has gotten easier, I think we have gotten stronger.

We talk about her, include her, and celebrate her.

The picture that my family gave me is exactly what I like to think she would look like if she was still with us.

It’s sometimes hard to comprehend having a four year old girl right in the middle of my two boys.

Oh how life would be different with this girly around.

A couple Sundays ago Luke came home from church with this picture.

They were talking about prayer and the teacher had them draw pictures about things they thank Heavenly Father for and things they ask Him for.

I thought this was the sweetest thing.

He is constantly asking me when Ruby will get to come back to earth with her brain working.

I’m so glad that I get to tell him that I KNOW we will get to see her again and that she will one day have a perfect body with everything working.

The other day I was early picking Luke up from school.

I decided to drive around for a bit while waiting.

Just down the road from Luke’s school is the Lehi Cemetery.

Ever since losing Ruby I find cemeteries to be a peaceful place, whereas before I would have NEVER chose a cemetery to occupy my time.

I love looking around at all the headstones to see how the family chose to represent their loved one.

Each one tells a story.

Right as I pulled in I came across this statue:

Underneath it was this poem:

“The Chosen One” By  RoseJane Waterhouse

The day the angels came for you
Our tears, like summer showers, fell.
We knew your time on earth was through.
With heavy hearts, we sang farewell.

We thought we were the “Chosen Ones”
To show you all life’s little things,
To teach you to appreciate
A bird’s song, or a butterfly’s wings.

But now we humbly realize
By seeing all you struggled through
That, by example, we’ve been taught
The Chosen Teacher, here, was you!

I agree with the poem about Ruby being the chosen one, the teacher, not us.

She is the one teaching us continually.

I loved what my friend, Jody, said in her giveaway post:

I was able to attend one of the memorials that was held for a sweet baby boy and was blessed to hear my Stake President say something to this effect: We come thru a door at birth and go thru another at death; some are feeling great joy at those moments while others feel great sorrow, only depending upon which side of the door they stand on.

I think this is such a great visual/perspective to have.

I am sure when Ruby came to earth many people on the other side were sad to see her go and yet we rejoiced here on earth.

But when it was time to say goodbye we felt the sorrow here, while the other side of the veil felt great joy to have her back.

I was listening to a general conference talk this morning and I echo the words of what Sister Neill F. Marriott says about losing her daughter:

When our delightful, worthy, 21-year-old daughter, Georgia, was hospitalized in critical condition following a bike accident, our family said, “It will all work out.” As I flew immediately from our mission in Brazil to Indianapolis, Indiana, USA, to be with her, I clung to our family motto. However, our lovely daughter passed into the spirit world just hours before my plane landed. With grief and shock running through our family like a current, how could we look at one another and still say, “It will all work out”?

Following Georgia’s mortal death, our feelings were raw, we struggled, and still today we have moments of great sorrow, but we hold to the understanding that no one ever really dies. Despite our anguish when Georgia’s physical body stopped functioning, we had faith that she went right on living as a spirit, and we believe we will live with her eternally if we adhere to our temple covenants.

A friend, who recently lost a child, received this picture and when I saw it I love how it says so much without words.

It’s called Close but Separate by Jenedy Paige.

I know she is close by even though we are separated right now.

I miss her, my heart hurts so much that I don’t think I can bear it some days.

But I’m constantly reminded of ways I can feel her close by.

I’m thankful for angels here on earth that help me on my hard days.

I love this quote by Elder Holland:

“I have spoken here of heavenly help, of angels dispatched to bless us in time of need. But when we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of God, we are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods. My beloved brothers and sisters, I testify of angels, both the heavenly and the mortal kind. In doing so I am testifying that God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face.”

Happy angel day to my angel in heaven.

We love you Ruby.