The Comforter

A couple weekends ago the LDS church held General Women’s Conference.

I didn’t attend because Jared was out of town and I had my kids, so instead I listened to it online.

All of the talks were wonderful, but I especially liked a talk titled “The Comforter” by President Eyring.

I listened to it again this morning and have been thinking about some of the things said all day.

You can click on the link above to listen to the whole thing, but I’m actually going to quote a lot of it here because it was that good.

Throughout the years I have seen a lot of people struggle.

No one is exempt from trials or burdens, myself included.

I have heard the phrase, ‘God will not give you more than you can handle’, used a lot.

To some extent I agree with the overall message, however, I feel like we are all given more than we can handle at one point in our life.

Let me explain further.

This is simply just ideas that swarm around in my head, but I’m going to use President Eyring’s talk to help me out.

Like I said before we all have trials, burdens, or heartache that come to us.

These can either come through God, our agency, the agency of others, or life in general.

I truly believe that God prepares us for trials that He knows are coming our way.

I don’t think He would ever give us something that He hasn’t prepared us for.

For example, I was serving as Young Women’s president in San Diego while I was married to my first husband.

Each week my testimony was being strengthen by those I served with and also the young women themselves.

I was also bearing my testimony on a weekly basis to them and I have never felt closer to God spiritually than I did at that time.

This was also the time in the my life when my marriage came crashing down and everything I thought I knew was no more.

Even though I struggled during this time to figure out what was truth I had that testimony to fall back on.

I’m not going to say I didn’t waver or question or even make pour decisions, but serving in the calling right before this trial really did strengthen me.

He prepared me for what was about to take place.

Now even though God may prepare us doesn’t mean we won’t struggle.

This is where God also steps in and can help us.

But we have to ask for it.

God will give us more than we can handle.

Life will give us more than we can handle.

But with Him we can handle anything.

I truly couldn’t have handled Ruby’s death by myself.

But I didn’t have to do it by myself.

He sent friends and family who mourned with me.

And he sent The Comforter to bring me peace.

“And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;

“Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.”

Then He promised:

“But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

President Eyring told the following story in his talk:

“Recently three generations of a family were grieving at the death of a five-year-old boy. He died accidentally while with his family on a vacation. I was granted the opportunity to watch once again how the Lord blesses the faithful with relief and the strength to endure.

I watched the way the Lord made their great burden lighter. I was with them as the Lord’s covenant servant—as you will be often in your life—“to mourn with those that mourn … and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.”

Because I knew that was true, I was pleased and at peace when the grandparents invited me to meet with them and the parents of the little boy before the funeral.

I prayed to know how I could help the Lord comfort them. They sat down with me in our living room. I had warmed the room on a cold night with a small fire in the fireplace.

I had felt to tell them that I loved them. I told them that I had felt the Lord’s love for them. In just a few words I tried to tell them that I mourned for them but that only the Lord knew and could experience perfectly their pain and grief.

After saying those few words, I felt impressed to listen with love while they talked about their feelings.

In the hour we sat together, they spoke far more than I did. I could feel in their voices and see in their eyes that the Holy Ghost was touching them. In words of simple testimony, they spoke of what happened and how they felt. The Holy Ghost had already given them the peace that comes with the hope of eternal life, when their son, who died without sin, could be theirs forever.

When I gave them each a priesthood blessing, I gave thanks for the influence of the Holy Ghost that was there. The Comforter had come, bringing hope, courage, and increased strength for all of us.

That night, I saw demonstrated how the Lord works with us to lighten the loads of His people. You remember in the Book of Mormon when His people were nearly crushed by the burdens placed upon their backs by fierce taskmasters.

The people pleaded for relief, as many of those we love and serve do. Here is the record, which I know is true:

“And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

“And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.”

I have seen that miracle time and time again.

The father and the mother of the little boy bore witness of the Savior that evening in my living room. The Holy Ghost came, and all were comforted. The parents were strengthened. The burden of grief did not disappear, but they were made able to bear the sorrow. Their faith increased. And their strength will continue to grow as they ask for it and live for it.”

The Comforter has come, bringing hope, courage, and increased strength for me at many times in my life.

I have had people say, I’m not sure how you are handling the loss of a child. I can’t imagine that.

The ONLY way I am handling it is through the Comforter.

It’s really hard to explain that extreme peace and comfort I felt after Ruby passed away.

I almost feel guilty when I say I felt that way.

That maybe I should be feeling differently, but I didn’t at that time.

When I was still pregnant with Ruby and we found out there was going to be complications, our families had a fast for her.

I wasn’t able to fast myself because I was pregnant.

However, I prayed that everything would be okay with our unborn child.

I prayed for a miracle.

After the fast was over, I had an impression come to my mind that said, “everything is not okay, but everything will be okay.”

I wasn’t exactly sure what that all meant, but again he was preparing me for what was coming.

President Eyring went on:

“I saw a miracle of comfort as I arrived outside the chapel where the funeral of the little boy was to be held. I was stopped by a lovely young woman I did not recognize. She said that she was coming to the funeral to mourn and to give comfort if she could.

She said that she had come to the funeral in part for comfort for herself. She told me that her first child had died recently. She was carrying in her arms a beautiful little girl. I leaned toward her to look into the little girl’s smiling face. I asked the baby’s mother, “What is her name?” Her quick and cheerful answer was “Her name is Joy. Joy always comes after sorrow.”

She was bearing her witness to me. I could see that the peace and comfort had come to her from the only sure source. Only God knows hearts, and so only He can say, in truth, “I know how you feel.” So I can only imagine both her joy and the sorrow that preceded it, but the Lord, who loves her, knows.”

I have felt that same peace and comfort.

I am grateful for those who mourned with me and lightened my load.

Thankful for the miracle that did occur of Jesus’ resurrection so I can be with Ruby again.

I call Hank my rainbow baby for the same reason that this lady named her baby Joy.

"Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.

I believe certain trials are given to us to test and strengthen our faith.

Will we turn to Him or will we try to do it on our own?

Sometimes we need a little (or big) reminder that we need the Lord in our lives every day.

I’ve tried to handle things on my own before and it just doesn’t work.

I don’t have all the answers for everything.

Some things are still confusing and I wonder why certain things are the way they are, but I do know that as long as we rely on Him, turn to Him, we can get through anything.

Additional insight on this, please share!