Motherly instinct?

Here is one more post about motherhood. One that is opening the door into my little mind.

When I was pregnant with Luke I read all the books about pregnancy. I wanted to know everything there was to know about pregnancy. Then one day someone asked what books I had been reading to prepare for the baby.

The baby?

I was so caught up in the pregnancy and labor and delivery that I hadn’t even thought about what I needed to know when I brought him home. For some reason I thought it would just come natural. You know… feed, sleep, poop.  What more was there to know?  I was older, had been around babies enough that I thought my motherly instinct would kick in. I had read all the books on breastfeeding so I thought I would be a pro at that (turns out, not so much). Anyway, I started asking for book suggestions and before I knew it I was enveloped in baby books. Even after Luke was home, I was reading and re-reading books. I was almost obsessing over certain books. Why? Because the books told me that if I follow their plan I could have my child sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. YES, PLEASE!! So I did what they told me.

Guess what?

Luke didn’t like their little plan, so it made me obsess over it even more. Finally I gave up and moved on to the next book’s little plan of sleep habits.

Guess what?

Luke didn’t like their little plan either. It was driving me nuts!! These were professionals, right? Telling me that it should work, right? What bothered me the most is that they never gave any tips on what to do if it wasn’t working. I would scour over the books trying to find answers to my questions and I always came up empty-handed. I guess they thought their plan would work without any complications. Silly me for wanting more info.

Now don’t get me wrong, I was very grateful to some of these books because they came to my rescue in many situations. However, I realized that after reading all these books I was even more confused then if I hadn’t read any at all. 

One book told me to let my child self-soothe by putting him down for a nap while still awake and let him cry it out for awhile. While another book told me I could never spoil a baby so hold him and rock him as much as I want.

One book said to feed as often as he wanted to eat, while another book said to keep him on a strict feeding schedule.

To give a binkie or not give a binkie?

To co-sleep or put him in a crib?

To keep him on a rigid napping schedule or let him decide when to nap?

And the list goes on with contradictory ways of parenting. Every book was telling me something different!

Can you see why I was confused?

This was all I thought about and talked about (ask Jared, it was the only thing on my mind).

Can you blame me?

I wanted the happiest child on the block. I wanted my child to be on a routine that would be predictable. I wanted to be the best mother, but I was bogged down with all these ideas that just weren’t working and it was consuming me.

So one day I decided to throw the books out.

That’s right. You heard me…OUT!

I decided to create my own plan for MY child. I am thankful to the professionals because they gave me a starting point in helping me with my plan. I just took a couple of ideas from each one (including my knowledge of feed, sleep and poop) and before I knew it, I had a plan that was working for MY child. I was the one that knew what MY child needed.

Guess what?

Luke liked MY little plan. In fact,  he started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, and for a couple weeks now he has been sleeping 12 hours at night. Two words: PURE BLISS.

As you can see, motherhood is still consuming me, but in a good way.

In the end I found out that I had motherly instinct after all.  I just needed to realize I had it all a long.