Grateful in Any Circumstance

My eyes are swollen today.

They hurt and are itchy from crying.

Yesterday I got terrible news that Jared’s coworker’s son died.

I went to school with this coworker and I’m a friend of his sister.

His son was 2 and was a twin.

They are saying it was SIDS, but aren’t exactly sure what may have happened.

I’ve been so heart sick over it.

It happens every time though.

Every time I hear of another child passing away, I get sick to my stomach.

My world stops for a little bit and I’m consumed with thinking, praying, and mourning over the loss of the child.

Mainly, I cry for the family left behind.

I want to take away the pain.

I want to know that they are feeling the same peace and comfort that got us through the loss of Ruby.

It was the only way we made it through.

Even though I’ve been through a child loss, there are really no words to say.

It’s awful.

Period.

Last night I was in the shower still crying over the situation wondering why life has to be so cruel sometimes when a thought came to mind that I needed to listen to a talk titled, Grateful in any Circumstance.

I thought it was so fitting since we just had Thanksgiving.

It’s worth listening to:

As I listened to it, it reaffirmed some of the knowledge I have (tried) to gain throughout my experiences with trials.

I loved this quote:

“Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.

We can be grateful!

It might sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened with sorrow should give thanks to God. But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding.”

I needed to hear this.

I’m trying so hard not to take things for granted.

Gratitude truly is a key factor in helping us through different struggles.

“But some might say, “What do I have to be grateful for when my world is falling apart?”

Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be.”

Gratitude in every circumstance is a hard one to master, one that I need to work on.

This family who lost their son has a long road ahead of them.

A road of mourning, sadness, anger, joy, questions, memories, prayers, comfort and healing.

I hope they know how many people are on their side, routing for them and praying for them.

As I climbed in bed last night I could hear Hank stirring so I went in his room to check on him.

When he saw me he stood up and put him arms out for me to pick him up.

I quickly scooped him up and rocked him while he slept and I cried.

I think he knew I needed him.

I was again woken up by Hank at 6am and once I got him back in bed I laid there still consumed by this situation, unable to fall back to sleep.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked at pictures of their sweet boy.

I sat and prayed to know that they will be comforted.

That through this trial they can see the Lord’s hand outstretched, wanting to help.

That they can see the tender mercies the Lord is providing them.

I’m sure they will and I’m sure they will be grateful for them.

I finally fell back asleep and awoke feeling some peace.

Peace comes from the Lord.

He offers it to us when we need it.

I needed it today just like many times in the past.

I knew I could let this situation continue to consume me, wondering why bad things happen to good people, but instead I got peace and I’m grateful for that.

Tonight as I laid next to Luke in his bed talking about the day, he started crying telling me that he was going to miss me when he becomes a grown up and has to buy his own house.

I told him that he didn’t ever have to leave me and could live with me forever.

The conversation reminded me how grateful I am for the knowledge I have that I will live with my family forever.

There is life after death.

Ben will be with his family again.

Jeff and Amanda, I am so sorry for your loss.

I’m so sorry for the pain you are feeling.

I hope you receive the comfort needed through this journey of grieving and heartache.

Much love to your family.